First of all, it usually doesn’t happen. Globally, there has been very limited cases of such a situation actually happening.
The converse is also true as well. Very few intended parents will actually abandon a child that they so desperately have wanted. There are few far in-between cases. In both situations, the media tends to bring it too much attention.
These limited cases on either side tend to give surrogacy a bad name.
In reality, it is the best gift someone can give or receive. Millions of couples have benefited from the generosity of selfless women.
- Most women who choose to be surrogates do it from the goodness of their heart. They genuinely feel for others who want to have a baby, but are unable to. Countries like Canada are altruistic, so it is not about the money for the surrogates. Most of these women already have completed their families. In several countries, one of the main requirements for a woman to be a surrogate is to already have at least one child of her own.
- Also, in the case of gestational surrogacy, there is no genetic relationship to the surrogate. This also helps to remove any potential of a deep bond.
- If you go through a reputable agency, one of their main jobs is to do a complete background check of the surrogate and her family. This helps to make sure that there are no major pitfalls of this or any other kind in the future. This is even more important when IPs are not from the same country as the surrogate.
- In the USA, where commercial surrogacy is legal, there is an option for a pre-birth court order, where the parental authority of intended parents is established prior to the birth of the baby. This removes any potential fear for the parents.
- In the UK and the Netherlands however, there is no option for pre-birth order. The surrogate is the mother of the baby. And she has to sign a document after the birth giving full authority to the IPs.
- However, we have heard recently that the laws are being reviewed and potentially changed in both countries. Which means that IPs will be recognized as the child’s legal parents from birth. This will remove the major “hurdle” of calling surrogates as “mothers”.
- In the worst case scenario, where the cases have gone to court, the courts have ruled in the favor of the IPs, factoring in the intent of the surrogacy agreement. This has been the case even in countries such as UK, Netherlands and Canada where the agreement is not enforceable by law.
In essence, there is really no major reason to worry. Going through a good and reputable agency helps to take care of this. Going independently will mean that as IPs, you will need to be more careful and cautious.
Some useful news items –